Nelie McNeal, Founder and Managing Partner

“When we take the ACT…” “We have to get our applications submitted by…”

As a college consultant, I always smile to myself when I hear these phrases. Typically, they’re uttered by a parent with the very best intentions, one who has faithfully supported their student throughout the long and often stressful application process. Those words also speak to the great investment (financial and emotional) parents have in their child’s future. That time you were up past midnight helping format a resume, or proofreading the completed Common Application, or driving to yet another campus—parents often give their all to encourage the likelihood of good college outcomes. Their care and attention are laudable.  

But we don’t take the ACT—our child does. 

And we aren’t applying to college—our child is.

That’s where ownership comes into the picture. 

We recently offered a webinar for the Class of 2026 and their parents regarding the academic transition to college. Dr. Andrew Collings, Director of the Learning Center at Washington University, gave a wonderful presentation describing the significant shift in responsibility a student experiences upon starting college. “In high school, teachers often carry 80% of the load while the student handles 20%. In college, those numbers are reversed.” All of a sudden, students may only have class two or three times a week, leaving hours unfilled by lectures or seminars. However, the expectation is that they will take primary ownership of their learning: reading the syllabus from start to finish, attending every class, keeping an accurate calendar of upcoming assignments, attending professors’ office hours, and making the leap from the information presented to the original thinking that must follow.

Does that mean parents should be blithely unaware of the application process, leaving it all to Ronnie or Renée to navigate alone? No reminders about test prep or chipping away at application essays or attending evening admissions receptions? Of course not. We’ve helped guide our own children through this process and would never recommend a completely hands-off approach. But given the dramatic shift in a student’s role as a learner when they arrive on a college campus, parents should remember that the educational transition will go far more smoothly for that student if its demands are not a complete surprise.

So what are ways parents can help their child take ownership of the application process? Some of them are tangible, such as purchasing a big wall calendar showing application deadlines and standardized test dates, arranging campus visits, perhaps even helping their child to create a binder or spreadsheet to track important details. One of our families had great success with a weekly “College Town Meeting,” during which they updated each other on next steps and reviewed the timeline. That way, college applications didn’t seep into every conversation at meals or random times. And there are some hard and fast guidelines: your child should write their essay themselves (with our guidance), and they should have the privilege of opening their admissions decisions. 

The more students captain their own ship, the more they will be invested in the results. If your child is a rising senior, they will be on their own at college before you know it. Help them develop the tools to take responsibility for earning their own success—and if you would like more information on how to encourage your child to take ownership, be in touch with us.